Feeling okay about feeling bad is good for your mental health

David R. Topor, PhD, MS-HPEd

When you have a negative emotion, are you upset or disappointed in yourself? Do you feel “bad” or “guilty” about this emotion? If so, you may be at risk for poorer longer-term psychological health.

A study in the July 2017 Journal of Personality and Social Psychology looked at the psychological health of people who accept, rather than negatively judge, their emotional experiences. Researchers found that accepting these experiences led to fewer negative emotions when confronted with daily stressors.

The article reported on three separate, but related, studies that explored how accepting negative emotions, rather than reacting to them, affects a person’s psychological health.

The first study aimed to see whether accepting emotions was associated with greater psychological health, and if this association was moderated by several demographic variables. Undergraduate students at the University of California at Berkley completed evaluations to assess acceptance, stress level, and psychological health. The researchers found that accepting mental health experiences was associated with greater psychological health across a range of demographic variables including gender, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status. Further, results indicated that the benefits to psychological health were associated with accepting the emotions associated with a negative event, rather than the situation that triggered those emotions.

In the second study, the authors examined a potential explanation for how the tendency to accept negative emotions is related to psychological health. They explored whether accepting one’s mental experiences helps to decrease negative emotions when experiencing stressors. A consistent reduction in negative emotions should, in time, improve overall psychological health.

Again, a group of undergraduates completed questionnaires related to acceptance and to their emotional responses to a stressful task completed in the lab. Results indicated that by habitually accepting emotions and thoughts, people experienced a lower degree of negative emotion when in stressful situations.

Finally, the authors wanted to see if these results held up for people other than college students. They followed people in a Denver community for a six-month period. These study volunteers completed measures of acceptance, psychological health, and stress, and kept nightly diaries for two weeks identifying the degree of negative emotion felt when experiencing stressors that day.

Results indicated that people who habitually accept their emotional experiences were more likely to report greater psychological health six months later. This was true regardless of gender, ethnicity, or socioeconomic status. Further, people who accepted these emotions were less likely to respond negatively to stressors. That is, people who routinely accept their emotions and thoughts when under stress, experience less daily negative emotion during these times. This in turn is associated with increased psychological health six months later.

Taken together, these three studies highlight the benefits of accepting emotions and thoughts, rather than judging them, on psychological health. It seems like common sense. When a stressful situation causes negative emotions, accepting feelings of frustration or upset — rather than trying to pretend you’re not upset, or beating yourself up for feeling this way — reduces guilt and negative self-image. Over time, this will in turn lead to increased psychological health.


  1. Julian Maynard

    Distinguishing and comparing between accepting ones own emotions and thoughts and that of others would be helpful. Also, revealing what accepting ones emotions and thoughts actively looks like for readers’ identification with or measuring against would be helpful. Perhaps doing the same in contrast for judging would also enhance the practical value of an already good article. Thank you!

  2. Nebat Obadia Lugo

    I really appreciate what has been done i can sense this reality now because for situations that have had occurred to me which are in nature stressful in some states i found my self pretending and later on i experience the feeling of regretting and a sense of loss which reduce my efficiency of thing during my studies……..on the other hand when i have this attitude of not pretending automatically i always feel comfortable and relax…….thanks alots!

  3. nyamu james

    Accepting the situation as they are and doing what you like best suppress anxiety and depression.my way.

  4. G

    Repression is a link to depression. Express yourself. Find an alternate activity. Contemplate your navel, have an indulgence…pop corn, paint your nails, get a tattoo..you’ll distance yourself from the source of the psychological upset and find a better mental mindset. Namaste

  5. Gini Paulsen

    I respond to anxiety by addressing the source of that, and then also by reading. Marin Seligman described depression as “learned helplessness”, a situation in which we cannot change something that is causing us to be down. I tend to offset depression by some pleasurable activity (e.g., making jewelry.) And also by getting out of the specific environment in which I am feeling depressed (i.e., a hike).

  6. Shirley Anstis

    Accepting is better than pretending for sure and it’s good to have a study to cite for anyone who needs convincing. Thank you.

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