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Mother is everything to me
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this is very true i seen so many people who died with in year after spouse or partner death.
Thank you for your very interesting article. Sadly, little is known about the effects of grief and the process of mourning, more importantly the time it takes to accept its effects as a normal human experience. Grief becomes a complex problem to our health when we fail to come to terms with loss and don’t allow our feelings to surface in the normal way. We need to talk, to weep, to feel angry, guilty and get it out of the system, not be forced into habitual escape routes and other ideas about what we should feel and think and do to get over it. Each of us finds our own way out when our grief is understood and accepted for what it is. Problems invariably get worse for us when issues from past experiences surface at the time of loss that may leave us with a pathological depressed state of mind, unable to rise out of the ashes. There is no doubt in my experience that grief, attachment and loss prove to be a complex problem when we don’t look ‘inwards’ for the answer, which is a natural maturing process and a pathway to a healthy body and mind.
I have been reading all the information I can find on Broken Heart a Syndrome. September 30, 2009 my husband of 42 years was killed in a car accident very close to our house. He was a minister, loved music and blessed people all over the world. It was tramitizing for our family, church and community. He loved to go to the jails and set down with inmates and become friends. His biggest pride in life was our grandson who had been with is all his life.
Eleven months later my daughter who was 43 and Jerry’s mother died. Seventeen months later my grand daughter, Jerry’s sister ran away. I have seen her 2 hours since she left and she came to pack. It has now been 2 years. A year ago I was in the hospital for pneumonia and was diagnosed with broken heart syndrome. About two weeks ago I became very tired and had no motivation to do anything even taking care of my personal things.
I have been so blessed to have lived a life of lots of luxuries and everything we needed for our home. Now there are lots if days there is no food or other things we need.
I am very tired and my Doctor is very worried.
I don’t think it would bother me to die if it is God’s time. I don’t know what would happen to Jerry but God will provide.
Thank you for listening.
My heart goes out to you. Without a doubt, when my husband of 37 years died of a brain tumor, I suffered a serious case of broken heart syndrome. After his death in 2001, I wanted so much to die. Gary was my life. I loved him more than I loved myself. I fell apart mentally and physically.. I endured lung surgery and entered a mental hospital when I was planning suicide. Thirteen years later I am still alive and functioning. However, I, as I imagine you are, am of an age when others our age are suffering deaths and tragedies.
I encourage you to see a psychiatrist who can prescribe antidepressants to help you make it through the days and at least tend to your health. I since have experienced my intense grief gradually fading over the years. Now my dear Gary resides in a space in my soul. That day will come for you.
I decided I needed to say yes to any social invitation and have done so. I, myself, find solace with being with friends. I became more active in my church and gradually found new ways to use my talents to help others in the community. I am still lonely and seeking a way to address that. I will think of you often and pray for your well-being. Do you have living relatives? Will they be present to you? If so, please ask them to be with you as much as possible, whether by phone, email, or in person.
My love to you. Alice Darien
Sharon, my hearts goes out to you. My husband died unexpectedly on Jan. 15th, 2014. He was an assistant pastor and Christian School principal. He influenced so many people especially young people for many years. It has been 3 months 11 days and everyday is a major struggle. While in the ministry we worked everyday side by side. He was my life. God gave us a tremendous marriage. While I know God’s way is perfect it has been the most difficult time with periods of not knowing if I will make it. But God is faithful and He knows I’m human. I’ve lost excessive weight and find myself depressed often. I long to leave this world. However, I know God has a plan. I will never understand why this has happened. But God gives my daily the strength to go on. I’m in an area where I have no family. Loneliness has been excessive. So many decisions I will have to make and have no clue right now what to do. Everyday I’m so thankful for the sure hope of Heaven. I know this want last forever and there is a better place.
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