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Harvard Health Blog
5 ways to hold on to optimism — and reap health benefits
- By: Beverly Merz, Executive Editor, Harvard Women's Health Watch
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In 2014 my daughter asked me to take care of her three daughters, so her and her husband could go on vacation. I said I would take care of the baby only at my house. She said, I said I would take care of all three girls. She said, because I was so unreliable that her mother-in-law had to change her vacation plans and my daughter had to hire a babysitter that she did not know, so they could go on there vacation. I had turned my house into a nursery to take care of her girls, whenever they wanted to go out. My husband and I always took care and loved those girls. One day after months of my daughter not speaking to us for months in 2014, we got a call that our daughter’s, oldest daughter Taylor, who was ten was ill at school and would we pick her up. We stopped everything we were doing to go get her. Meanwhile, the school nurse called us and said, your daughter does not want you to pick her up. She had a friend go get her. We were devastated. The school nurse did not know our daughter considered me unreliable, because I didn’t take care of the girls when they went on vacation.
The end of 2014, I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer and thyroid cancer. My daughter was there, when I had half my colon removed and my thyroid removed, but our relationship has never been the same. I asked her why and she said “I love you, but you have proven yourself as unreliable.” Her dad and I are the most reliable people. We have always been there for her and the children. We are not speaking again, because she joined her mother-in-laws sorority, and they took a trip to Florida together for a week. When my daughter returned, she put over 20 pictures on Facebook with her mother-in-law and sorority sisters with her. She has no pictures of her and I together on Facebook. Yes, I am jealous, yes I am deeply hurt that she could possibly call me unreliable, when that would not be in anyone else’s’ description of me or my husband. I am in such a depression right now. I asked her to say she was sorry for hurting me, by not letting me pick up Taylor. She said, you are not reliable, so I will not say I am sorry! She said, she agrees that, I have always been there for her and the girls, but she cannot forgive that, I caused her and so many people problems, when I didn’t take care of the three girls. I know I am hurting, myself by being so angry at my daughter. It will mean never seeing her or my three granddaughters again.
Sad in Illinois.
good article, motivational and refreshing and empowering. mindfulness may sound simple but it can be very challenging, but when mastered it is the greatest stress reliever and paves way for optimism.
If you can keep an optimistic outlook when others cannot, then perhaps you do not fully grasp the situation.
Ah, Beverly, acting locally is a great idea and lots of people do so when they feel helpless and small but organizing and engaging in political activities to change policies at the national level is just as important. Neither is mutually exclusive; joining with others as millions did over the weekend in global womens’ marches, is empowering and healthy.
wow, nice article it’s very intresting and motivational thanks for the sharing.
These days, acting locally is no longer enough. Getting involved in the larger political issues facing our country is vital.
Right On! Sharon!
That’s why my wife and I are the longest term volunteers at Bikes Not Bombs, helping to setup bicycle shops from Deepsloot, South Africa to Northern Uganda, as well as all over Central America and even New Orleans after the flood.
be around positive people as much as possible . Plan your time ahead when you know when the winter is coming and you might fall to the blues after xmas. We know it will come so fill your time with events or hobbies that make you happy to do and thankful. Start as you awake with positive things of the day and give thanks for the fresh day.Stress builds easy and its very hard to give away.Learn a new thing,record the positives ,it will build your resources when it hits again.
Great motivational post for life ,health benefit.how can acquire optimism in you life ,this post help you much and also for discipline life.Our Medical Dissertations writing services help to those students who are doing PhD or Master’s in Medical science with effective research content .
One way to make new habits stick is to perform them consciously. To that end, when you implement your Personalized Diet Plan, start a journal. A short, undemanding journal, which you can call anything you like, from My Food Diary to My Journey Through Hell and Back. Write down how you feel. Write down how you cheated that day, and with which foods. Write a rant about the telephone company, write anything you think may help you succeed. The important thing is to write in it daily. This simple act will insure you stay conscious.
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