Building Positive Family Routines

Routines bring structure, consistency, and a sense of security. A framework of routine and predictability helps young people complete assignments on time, balance activities, school, and social connections, and get a good night’s sleep. Additionally, family routines can also contribute to social and emotional growth in your teen — and they can be fun, too!

Adding just one or two of these habits into your family’s daily routine can help encourage communication and cooperation while also helping young people develop empathy and generosity. Try to do so as naturally as possible: if the habit feels forced, it may be more off-putting (or even irritating) than helpful. Some ideas to try:

• Each morning, set the tone for the day by saying something positive. For example, pay your child a sincere compliment.
• Before leaving for the day or while in the car, do a short mindfulness exercise together, like deep breathing or observing what you each see, feel, taste, touch, and smell.
• Over dinner or during a quieter time of the night when people are settling in, ask whether anything funny, silly, or surprising happened that day. Model this by sharing an experience or story of your own.

See Opens in a new tabthe Family Dinner Project for other suggestions.

Routines can also promote a team attitude for efforts that benefit the entire family. Try:

• Making chores a team effort by creating a rotating chore chart or wheel. For more time-intensive projects (like cleaning out a closet), brainstorm an incentive for a job well done. Let your teen make suggestions for what needs to be done, how to divvy up tasks, and what the reward could be.
• Brainstorming ways to help others in your community. Ask your teen as well as other family members for ideas, put agreed-upon ones in a jar or shared list, and pick one to do together each month or season. For more ideas, see Opens in a new tabGetting Teens to Play Vital Roles in Their Communities from the Center for Parent and Teen Communication.
• Acknowledging that teens may wish to celebrate holidays, birthdays, and other milestones in new ways, even if you had established traditions when they were younger. Ask (versus assume) which family traditions feel important to them, and decide together how to celebrate.