Where Can You Get Help?

There are many ways to get support for mental wellness. At home, at school, and through your healthcare provider are three main places, but there are other options, too.

At home

Parents and family can be a good first option when you’re struggling. Ideally, you want your parents or guardian to hear your concerns, validate your struggles, and help get you the support you need. But opening up to your parents or family can be difficult. You might be worried or make assumptions about how they’ll react:

• what if they don’t understand?/they won’t understand.
• what if they dismiss my feelings?/they will minimize how I feel.
• what if they get upset, or act sad or disappointed?/they will make me feel worse than I already do.

You also might worry that they already have too much going on in their own lives — especially if a parent or someone else in the family is experiencing their own mental health struggles. And you might feel like you’ll burden them by asking for help.

All of these concerns are normal. Asking for help can be scary, but it’s also brave. It’s a way to stand up for your well-being and voice your needs. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll be able to get support.

Here are some ideas that might make talking to your parents or caregiver a little easier:

• Who? Consider whether it would be best to talk to one person first, or whether it would help to talk to both parents or guardians together. Would it help to have a sibling, friend, relative, or trusted adult with you for support?
• When? Let them know in advance that you’d like to talk about something important. If that feels hard to say, try sending a text.
• Where? Set a time and place when things are quiet and you can talk privately.
• How? Plan out what you’d like to say. You might write down some talking points that you think will help your parent understand.
  • If you are concerned about how they’ll react, you might share those fears with them.
  • Try to use “I” statements: “I am feeling,” “I am worried,” “I am struggling.”
  • If talking feels too difficult, consider writing a text or letter instead. This will give you a chance to say everything you’d like without interruption, and for your parent or guardian to digest your concerns before having a conversation.
  • Think about the specific support you’d like to ask for. Do you want to see a therapist or other type of mental health provider? What other ways can your parents or family help you?

What might happen next?

Chances are you’ll feel a little better just by starting a conversation. Often, parents and guardians feel relieved, too. They may just want to help, in the same way you’d want to help a friend if they shared they were struggling.

It’s possible, though, that you might not get the reaction you want, at least at first. It may take your parent or guardian some time to put what you said into helpful action. Or, they may have responded with unhelpful reassurances or advice. Keep in mind that not only may they be from a culture or generation that has a different understanding of mental health, but that they may not know the “right thing” to say or do in the moment. They may ask you questions that you don’t want to answer. If they do, you can always say that you’d prefer to talk with a mental health provider.

Sometimes, family life is a big cause of stress or mental health concerns. If you aren’t getting the response you’d hoped for, or if it doesn’t feel safe or possible to talk to a parent or guardian, there are lots of other people who can help. Think about other trusted adults in your life, such as another family member, a friend’s parents, a faith leader, or a teacher.

At school

School may be a place where you can get support. Are there trusted adults in your school you could talk to like a teacher, coach, nurse, or advisor? Or does your school offer mental health and wellness support? For example, some schools:

• have staff social workers, school counselors, or psychologists who may provide counseling, mental wellness programming, or grief and trauma support
• can help connect you with mental health and mental wellness services outside of school, or recommend community resources
• run clubs or groups where students can discuss mental health conditions like anxiety or depression, or talk about concerns such as stress, grief, divorce, or violence
• offer programs that address stigma and discrimination and promote mental wellness
• offer safe spaces or affinity groups where you can discuss issues with peers experiencing similar challenges. Your school might bring together students of color or LGBTQ+ students, for example. Talking to others with similar backgrounds, experiences, or perspectives can help you feel less alone and give you validation and support. They may be able to share solutions and resources with you, too.

How can you find out more?

Start by asking a teacher or look through your school website to see what your school or district offers. You can also reach out to a trusted staff member if you want someone to talk to, and they can point you in the right direction of other resources. You might stop by during a free period or send an email asking to meet.

What if you’re homeschooled?

Getting mental health and wellness support can be challenging if you’re homeschooled. You don’t have a guidance counselor or school nurse to drop by and talk to during the school day. You may not have access to a designated safe space or belong to a group that shares similar challenges. Some suggestions include:

• If you feel comfortable, you can start by talking to your parents or caregivers, a trusted adult, or your homeschool teacher if you have one.
• If this is not an option, try talking to your healthcare provider or look for community resources (see Where else is help available?). For example, check the website for your local library for suggested resources and groups. This type of information may be listed under the Youth or Community or Health Resources sections.
• You can also contact the Opens in a new tabCoalition for Responsible Home Education to find out what resources might be available.
• Additionally, the state mental health agency where you live may be able to guide you to support services (see Opens in a new tablink and scroll down to the section with an alphabetical list of state mental health agencies).

Your healthcare provider

Annual checkups, vaccines, sick visits, and prescribing medicines: your pediatrician or primary care provider does all of this. But they’re not just there to take care of your physical wellness. Their job includes supporting your mental wellness, too.

You can talk with them about issues you’re facing, whether you’re anxious or depressed or think you may have an eating or substance use disorder. They can help you find resources like a therapist or treatment center. Your clinician may be able to diagnose and treat a mental health condition, or they may refer you to someone like a psychologist or psychiatrist that specializes in adolescents. Some primary care groups even have mental health providers in their practice.

Talking privately

Depending on your age and the reason for the visit, your parent or guardian might stay in the exam room with you during a health appointment. Your provider will often ask if there’s anything you’d like to talk about privately, or tell your caregiver directly that they’d like to have some time to talk with you 1:1. They know you might not want to talk about subjects like sexual health, substance use, or mental wellness concerns in front of a parent or guardian.

If you’re worried that your provider might not offer you time to speak privately, you can:

• Tell your parent ahead of time that you’d like to talk privately during the appointment. You can say something like, “I’m feeling old enough to take charge of some parts of my health. I’d like to have some time to talk to the doctor by myself.”
• Call the office in advance and let the staff know that you’d like some time to speak with the provider privately. They can cue the provider to make sure to ask for some 1:1 time with you during the appointment.

Can you get mental health care without telling your parents?

Not in every state. In some states, you can receive mental health care from your healthcare provider without your parents’ knowledge or permission if you are over the age of 12. In other states, that age or other rules may be different.

You can ask your provider about the laws in your state. They can explain what would be kept private, and what they might share with your parents and why. You can also search online for “minor self-consent for mental health treatment” in your state.

How much will your provider tell your parents?

No matter how old you are, you can ask your provider not to share certain information with your parents. However, your clinician doesn’t necessarily have to agree to that request, depending on the laws in your state around the issues you’re sharing. You can ask your provider for examples of information they would or would not share. For example, you might say, “There are things I want to talk to you about, but I’m worried you might tell my parents. Can you tell me what you would have to share with my parents?”

Healthcare providers are required to tell your parents if they feel you are at serious risk of hurting yourself or someone else.

Where else is help available?

Drop-in centers and online groups

Some organizations offer drop-in centers that can provide young people with a safe space and offer free mental wellness support such as individual guidance, peer support, social activities, and more. You can search for drop-in centers near you like these two examples:

• Opens in a new tabSpeaking of Hope Access Centers in Massachusetts (most locations for young adults starting at age 16)
• Opens in a new taballcove centers in California (for ages 12-25)

You can also look into organizations like National Alliance on Mental Illness (Opens in a new tabNAMI) or the Opens in a new tabTrevor Project to see if they have groups online or in your area for teens or young adults.

Community and resources

Your town or city may offer community programs for teens, young adults, and families. For example:

• Some community centers or recreation departments offer support around mental wellness, arts, sports, and social activities.
• Some libraries offer teen groups, community mental health resources, or free access to mental wellness apps.
• Other programs are offered by neighborhood health centers, migrant services, places of worship, or in collaboration with state social services.

Check with your local library, department of social services, or public health department to learn about programs in your area.

Help lines

If you or another young person needs help, you can call, text, or chat with a help line:

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): free teen and young adult helpline available daily from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. Eastern time. This is not a crisis line, but a line for peer support and resources to call (800-950-6264), text (Friend to 62640), or chat through the Opens in a new tabwebsite.
• Samaritans: free text line, Opens in a new tabHey Sam, offering 24/7 peer-to-peer support for young people up to age 25. Text 877-832-0890.
• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: free text line if you are feeling suicidal or experiencing a mental health emergency (see What to do in a mental health crisis).

For more ideas, including suggestions for mental wellness apps, see our Resources page or Opens in a new tabNAMI Teen and Young Adult Resource Directory.